So now, I noticed the relationship between Mother Nature and me. Because of that, I was confident on a new level.
I used to think that in order to feel confident, I needed to prove that I was better than the average. Well, it was far opposite from the truth. Confidence was never built on comparison.
First time in my life, I understood that I could be confident just because I was alive; I could be confident just because I was given this miraculous life; I could be confident especially without comparing myself to others.
As for being a mom, I used to think that I was the one protecting my kids. So I would be acting crazy whenever they had been sick or facing any obstacles. But since I noticed the relationship with Mother Nature, I was able to be much more peaceful towards the kids. I still tried to do my best as a mom, but also reminded myself to trust that Mother Nature had the best plans for my kids, and prayed for the part that I had no control.
I learned to choose faith over worries. I felt so grateful that I found faith, otherwise, how could I deal with constant worries?
I learned about fear, and realized that my old self had done everything based on fear. No wonder that I had been constantly nervous, walked life as if it was a mine-sweep game. And because of that mind set, I never had any wild dreams for my kids, nor myself, which would be a huge red flag as a mom. We’ve got to believe that our kids could do anything in the future, right?
Ever since noticing the relationship with Mother Nature, I was no longer desperately wanting others’ approvals, nor curious about their ways of living lives fearing if I would be missing anything.
However, knowing my relationship with Mother Nature was one thing, but maintaining that relationship, breaking my negative thinking patterns’ intervention was another.
There still were a lot of self-discovery and self-improvement waiting ahead of me.
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Life Is Good As An Immigrant :) 